Jun. 8th, 2004
I'm finally alone in the office again. I've got the window open, and it smells of rain outside. I hope the power doesn't go out - not that I'm working on anything other than updating my memories (mostly hunting down picture and anecdotal posts and adding them in). Todd's got the car, though, so I can't go home, and while the thought of just sitting and watching the rain in the semi-darkness is appealing, it sounds far more appealing from home.
The clouds are grumbling now. Wonder what's got them so upset.
Looking at my memorable posts I'm reminded (funny how that works) of the art posts I was making for a while - finding digital art and making a "wallpaper of the week" post was fun, but... well... vaguely unsatisfying at the same time. I think I got frustrated, because I know that I could be spending the time making art myself. I've done it before (like so), but I lost patience. I grew increasingly frustrated with my inability to really get what's in my head onto the screen. These digital artwork programs aren't like painting - nothing like, really. Not that I can paint, either. But sometimes, when there's something specific I want to create, I just want it to BE. If I took the time to learn the controls and ins and outs of Bryce and WorldBuilder and Terragen I'm sure I could do better. They're complex programs, and it's silly to expect to just sit down and poof! You're maaaaaaahvelous dahlink. Still. That's what I wanted. What I want. They're still on the shelf at home, and installed on my computer. I haven't opened them up in a while, but they're still there. And I hope that I'll come back to that mode of creativity eventually. When I've got the patience for it.
In cismotional news, I've been doing pretty well lately. My emotions have been fairly stable, and the "have a schedule" thing seems to have broken me mostly out of my work funk. Mind you, I'll still bitch, and I'll still be justified in my bitching, but I'm not feeling like it's all despair and doom and gloom all the freakin' time anymore.
I can't believe it's Tuesday. It utterly feels like a Friday.
I need to find a birthday present for my grandmother. I wish she were a reader... she just plain doesn't like to read (inconceivable!) and that rules out whole swathes of presents. I was thinking that maybe starting up a letter journal with her might be a good gift...something sweet that keeps us in contact. It's just, heh... I'm absolutely horrid about actually keeping up with that kind of thing, and I'd hate to disappoint if and when we got it started. On the other other hand, if we got it started, I'd probably feel so guilty about neglecting it, that I'd simply have to keep it up. Fah. I'll probably get her a knick-knack or something. Maybe a picture frame. I don't know. I hate to get her more dust-catchers, because a) that's what everyone gets her and b) she certainly doesn't need anymore. I know she'd appreciate something different, or something I made. I could try breaking out (probably literally) the stained glass stuff and taking a stab (again with the literally) at creating a suncatcher for her or something...but ouch. And mess. And I suck at it anyway. Nyeh. I'll think on it more later.
And now that I've been quite, quite lazy, I think I'll continue this trend by reading until Todd picks me up.
The clouds are grumbling now. Wonder what's got them so upset.
Looking at my memorable posts I'm reminded (funny how that works) of the art posts I was making for a while - finding digital art and making a "wallpaper of the week" post was fun, but... well... vaguely unsatisfying at the same time. I think I got frustrated, because I know that I could be spending the time making art myself. I've done it before (like so), but I lost patience. I grew increasingly frustrated with my inability to really get what's in my head onto the screen. These digital artwork programs aren't like painting - nothing like, really. Not that I can paint, either. But sometimes, when there's something specific I want to create, I just want it to BE. If I took the time to learn the controls and ins and outs of Bryce and WorldBuilder and Terragen I'm sure I could do better. They're complex programs, and it's silly to expect to just sit down and poof! You're maaaaaaahvelous dahlink. Still. That's what I wanted. What I want. They're still on the shelf at home, and installed on my computer. I haven't opened them up in a while, but they're still there. And I hope that I'll come back to that mode of creativity eventually. When I've got the patience for it.
In cismotional news, I've been doing pretty well lately. My emotions have been fairly stable, and the "have a schedule" thing seems to have broken me mostly out of my work funk. Mind you, I'll still bitch, and I'll still be justified in my bitching, but I'm not feeling like it's all despair and doom and gloom all the freakin' time anymore.
I can't believe it's Tuesday. It utterly feels like a Friday.
I need to find a birthday present for my grandmother. I wish she were a reader... she just plain doesn't like to read (inconceivable!) and that rules out whole swathes of presents. I was thinking that maybe starting up a letter journal with her might be a good gift...something sweet that keeps us in contact. It's just, heh... I'm absolutely horrid about actually keeping up with that kind of thing, and I'd hate to disappoint if and when we got it started. On the other other hand, if we got it started, I'd probably feel so guilty about neglecting it, that I'd simply have to keep it up. Fah. I'll probably get her a knick-knack or something. Maybe a picture frame. I don't know. I hate to get her more dust-catchers, because a) that's what everyone gets her and b) she certainly doesn't need anymore. I know she'd appreciate something different, or something I made. I could try breaking out (probably literally) the stained glass stuff and taking a stab (again with the literally) at creating a suncatcher for her or something...but ouch. And mess. And I suck at it anyway. Nyeh. I'll think on it more later.
And now that I've been quite, quite lazy, I think I'll continue this trend by reading until Todd picks me up.